Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
