I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
