Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
false alarm, still single
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
