Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
oh god the rape fog is back!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
