You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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