I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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