it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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