i think i recognize dicks better than faces
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
