SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
