nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's the barista slut.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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