Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
