it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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