When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
