Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
