Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
