where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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