are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
North Korea, Best Korea!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
