happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
