I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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