i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
