i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
