Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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