We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
