How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
