Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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