Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
be right there i have to get my cape
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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