are you still at the devil's house?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
