I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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