Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Randomize
