worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i've created a new STD.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
