This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
