I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
