apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
two words: eviction party
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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