can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
