it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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