We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Panties = found
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