you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
