drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize