Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
