I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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