it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
