i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
