my mouth tastes like poor choices
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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