He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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