we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
