i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
