I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we're so committed to being not committed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
