Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
