didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
