I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize