Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
