oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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