what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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