I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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