he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
