You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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