Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
