I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize