I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
