either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize