low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
