Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
