Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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