I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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