Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
